While pondering the many ways in which I can be 'Zen', I've decided to remind myself what I know to be true about ME.
#1. I'm not always perfect and sometimes I lose my cool, but my kids aren't overly concerned with my shortcomings because I own them (not the kids, my shortcomings). I've learned how to apologize when I go overboard. I feel really good about teaching my kids that making mistakes are a normal part of living on this planet and while we can't fix everything, we can only learn from our mistakes if we take responsibility for them and then work towards not making the same ones over and over again.
#2. I am a GREAT mom. The well being of my kids is at the forefront of just about every decision I make. I take care of them physically, spiritually and emotionally while also leaving them space to learn how to figure things out on their own. I live honestly in front of my children and I don't run or hide from confronting things head on. I firmly believe that if I am strong in my convictions in front of them, without being oppressive or overbearing, they will see that they can stand for what is right, without fear and without hurting other people purposely.
#3. I give people the benefit of the doubt. Even when they seem to have some sort of vendetta or are looking for something to find "wrong" with what I do, I still strive to treat them the way I want to be treated. Yes, that does mean I get blindsided and sometimes I even get hurt, but I'd rather be consistent in Love than turn into the same type of person they are. Maybe it's naivete on my part, but I'm ok with it. I want my legacy to be Love, and I want my kids to always be able to say, "Mom always tried to be the better person."
#4. I don't 'need' my parents. I don't need their approval. I can't believe I've finally reached the point in my life where I'm ok with not being good enough for them. I'm no longer strving to reach their unreachable standards. I'm no longer bothered by thier ability to cut me out of their lives for no other reason than I don't "submit" to some fabricated authority. HOORAY for this one!!!
#5. I'm a REALLY good cook. I LOVE creating yummy things to eat. I LOVE watching people eat and smile and leave my table satisfied.
#6. I have high standards. I want my home cleaned a certain way, which is why *I* prefer to do it myself. I want laundry done a certain way. I want my children to speak and behave a certain way; with manners and respect. I expect my children to do thier best with thier whole hearts in ALL that they do ~ and I don't feel like I can expect that of them unless they witness me practicing what I preach. Maybe that makes me uptight or rigid to some, but that's ok. I don't live for those people who think that way. I live for my family and my SELF and until I am dissatisfied with my results, I'll continue to have the standards I have and work hard to meet them.
#7. I am confident in my parenting. Sometimes I get caught up in trying to be perfect or in worrying about what people outside my home think about what I'm doing, and then I realize that no matter what they think, I KNOW THE TRUTH. My Partner KNOWS THE TRUTH. My children KNOW THE TRUTH. The kids are clean, healthy, and thriving. They get delicious, nutritious meals provided by my hands and they always leave my home looking well groomed and able to be proud of how they present themselves to the world. I stress honesty and responsibility and the importance of valuing people above 'things'. I make sure they aren't over scheduled and have time to just "be kids". Heck, sometimes they're even bored ~ and I'm glad of that! I don't tolerate fighting or angry arguing but I also don't step in each time they quarrel. I want them to learn how to work things out without needing outside help. Conflict resolution is EXTREMELY important to me and I want my children to be able to work on thier relationships instead of leaving things unsaid or pretending that things are ok, when they're not.
#8. I give good advice (most of the time). I strive to apply logic and common sense to situations.
#9. I HATE lies. Self explanatory.
#10. I worry too much. Usually about things that have no need of worry.....especially after I've had time to think critically. I'm workin' on it :-) My Zen Garden is coming to fruition day by day.
So, while I'm just a work in progress (like everyone else), I KNOW the good things about me, what needs work, what I CAN change, and what I can't....and I know that I have time enough to just LIVE the best life that I can while I learn the lessons that come with experience. I'm working on ME....of this you can be sure. <3
