Sep 1, 2006
Hmmmmm......
Current mood:bouncy
So here I am...discovering and rediscovering. I think sometimes I am too intense for my own good.....analyzing everything doesn't change the underlying truth of a matter. Maybe it adds a bit of clarification, but things still are what they are. I can be o.k with that, right?
What about our concious lives being ruled by the unconcious? There are things we are affected by without our knowledge or consent that change who we become. I think of music, tones and rhythms, words, verbal or on a page......these things we store in our inmost parts that contribute to the defining of our nature. I am what I am because of what I take in. I've heard songs that for some reason unkown to me, have made me weep. I've woken up from dreams so vivid I though I would die from the physical and emotional pain I experienced...weeping because I cannot wrap my mind around what I BELIEVED I'd just experienced. I've literally had to give myself time to recover. Our sub-concious self is powerful.....it is our soul....it is us. I want to know that Truth about me.....about what gives LIFE and brings death...what is real and what is supposedly rational. Beyond the great beyond...."beyong the third dimension, beyond what I can see, I cannot touch what touches me."
Where do our moral compasses come from? I'm not talking about religious upbringing or governmental law. I'm talking about what defines right and wrong for us individually. Who are we? What makes someone "good"? Do we really have the capability to make 'right' choices? I ask because everywhere I look I see people screwing other people. "Looking out for #1". But at what cost? I mean, if I look out for others, doesn't it go without saying that somehow, some way, I will be looked out for too? NO! It's a sad, sad state of events when we have to reign in our charity because it will get demolished by the entitlements of others. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I'm tired of being hurt. I don't lie to people, but I am constantly lied to. I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but I'm sick of being trampled upon. I can be a rock....an island. Do we really need anyone else? Sometimes, I'm not so sure...... the shit far outweighs the sugar. Where is the nourishment? Who cherishes anyone anymore? Who looks at someone else and see's a treasure.....see's eternity? Life? Value? God? Something worthwhile.....worth preserving and protecting? No many people anymore, I fear. It feels like greiving....to know we are so clouded by our self importance that we cannot sit quietly, wait for the smoke to clear, and be amazed at the beauty that exists outside the confines of our daily life. I treat the way I want to be treated.....I want reciprocation. Being selfless is very selfish. We do for others because it makes us feel whole. It's starts to get difficult, though, when we are continually pouring out and no one cares enough to help us fill back up.....it's tiring indeed.
Here, I started out saying I was too intense and then totally got WAY TOO instense! HAHA!! Anywho....Love makes the World go round.....Love and magnetic forces....hehe!
Know Who you are......
10:37 PM
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